her vagine was all disorganized.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
