Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
