He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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