Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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