I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
