Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
