i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
