i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
