I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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