Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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