phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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