Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I forget how to act sober
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
