dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
