My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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