he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
im on a boat
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