spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
