why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
