Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
