But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
