She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
