You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
