Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
