im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i now understand why vodka
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
