Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
