One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
