you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
