physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
