That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize