Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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