In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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