Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
