I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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