I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
