what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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