there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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