eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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