Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
They took my balls.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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