Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
