Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Boobs are out for the taking
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i now understand why vodka
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
