I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
