Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
