Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
