Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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