I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
