Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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