Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
