I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
