We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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