the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
