i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
