I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
